Opening the Facebook App
Me: Okay, time to check Facebook.
Facebook App: Oh, hey. You, uh, want me to open?
Me: Yeah, thanks.
Facebook App: Ooh, might take a while.
Me: …
Facebook App: Okay, let me just, uh…
Me: …
Facebook App: … just getting ready here.
Me: …
Facebook App: Almost…
Me: Can you, uh, open, please?
Facebook App: Yeah, yeah, what’s the hurry? I’m getting to it.
Me: Look, I just wanted to quickly check if –
Facebook App: Hold on, Mr Speedy Pants. I’m working on it. I’m almost there. Can’t you see I’m almost there?
Me: I… no; you’ve just been blank for, like, ages.
Facebook App: I’ve got the blue bar along the top. You know I’m loading. Just hang on a damn second.
Me: Look, man… I don’t… forget it. I don’t even care anymore.
Facebook App: Really? Because I swear I’m nearly there.
Me: No, forget it. Just close. Close the app. I don’t care anymore.
Facebook App: You want me to close now? That’ll take a second, buddy.
Me: What? Just, Jesus, just close.
Facebook App: …
Me: Oh, come on, man.
Facebook App: Oop, I’m open now; but you said to close, so…
Me: No, fuck, wait!
Facebook App: There we go, all closed for you, sir.
Me: …
Facebook App: …
Me: Can you open again, please?
Facebook App: Ooh, might take a while.
Me: Forget it.
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Leave a Reply to belicovaa Cancel reply
--- Grumpy Comments --- 
Hahaha I’m laughing because this is SO TRUE I got stuck like this earlier today! :D
http://cassiefairy.com
I’m surprised you’ve managed to get out of it since then! It usually takes me about a week and a half.
I could insert WordPress for Facebook since I’ve been having so many WordPress problems this year, and the year is only 21 days old!
I was blaming my smartphone for this malfunction but now I see it’s all entirely Facebook’s fault. Haha :-)
hahahahahah *spilling tea* hahahahah
Haha!
I’m starting to find this with my twitter app too.
Starting to think there might be some kind of conspiracy to get me to actually speak to people. Y’know, in real life.
Good luck with that iphone..!
Who does *that* anymore? I’ll tell you who. Crazy people. Just make yourself a cup of tea and grab a book next time you try to open the app.