Here’s an unusual encounter that befell me yesterday. I was at work, quite quiet, very hot, when in walked a fully uniformed policeman. They occasionally make the rounds in my area, popping in just to say hello and reinforce their presence. This chap, however, was a little more memorable than many of his predecessors.
… and it was agonisingly awkward.
There was a girl in my shop with (presumably) her parents. She was maybe 18-24, I’m useless with guessing ages, and had bright blue hair (and for the record, I am quite a fan of bright, dyed hair). Anyway, she sort of shot me a few smiles, and I shot a few back in that customer/shop assistant kind of way, and after a very small chat with the lady I assumed to be her mother that she sort of joined in with, they left.
Cut to two hours later, and the phone rings.
Well, you know… sometimes. If I just happen to be sitting by the lake with my ladyfriend when the sun decides to glare off of my camera like a monochromatic, upside down rainbow. Also, I feel like I should work the word ‘dappled’ into this somehow. Hipsters love the word ‘dappled’. http://instagram.com/p/qr-64bNlF3/?modal=true
Bad guy: Are we finally ready to negotiate?
Good guy: Look, god, I’ll bring you the damn money, just please don’t hurt my family, please.
Bad guy: Very well. You have 8 hours.
Good guy: I, uh… 8 hours? Dude, it’s like a 10 hour drive just to get to you.
Bad guy: Oh, yeah. Uh, that could be a problem, huh.
A typical day at work (a typically quiet day at work) was interrupted earlier when an adorable Chinese couple came in to my store for a little look around. They perused the stock for a short while, before the young lady glanced over at me and began whispering to her male companion (which immediately made […]
The story of how a stranger came in to my shop and kind of asked me to cheat on my girlfriend.
I don’t know, it’s something about the way she looks like she kind of hates me, right? Look at her, just putting up with me, quietly wishing for a different life. Awww, she’s so cute with her hopes and dreams of something better.
The following is a genuine recounting of a part of the Norse Mythology. There exists a poem called Lokasenna in which Loki (you know, the super sexy Tom Hiddleston from the Marvel franchise one) is hanging out and having a few drinks with some of the Æsir (gods), but is kicked out after inexplicably murdering a waiter that they were all being really nice to. After a little time away, presumably stewing in anger, Loki returned to throw down the gauntlet and show the gods some serious smack talk. All I can say is god damn, this would have livened up The Avengers movie.
What follows is a genuine account of the resulting quarrel.