Marcus: Who’d have thought there was a bus operating in Knowl Hill! I’m genuinely taking the bus to Maidenhead right now!

Me: My phone accidentally deleted all my numbers, but I’ll assume that this is Marcus, the only person uninteresting enough to text me things about bus routes. Does this mean that your morning commute will be easier, or will you still have trouble with the early starts? Text back soon. I’m *dying* to know.

Marcus: Re-save my number! Getting to work for an early shift will probably mean getting up at 4am.

Me: I’m assuming they’re going to magically reappear sooner or later. 4am? Wow, that’s terrible. Any other tales of travel inconvenience you’d care to lay on me, bro?

Marcus: No, not really. I want to get a bike to cycle to and from Twyford. Cost me £20 in a taxi to get back last night. Are you off today? How’s Becky’s health?

Me: Don’t change the subject. What kind of bike do you intend to purchase! Roughly how long did the bike ride take? Would it be short enough to not be tiring? I need to know these things.

Marcus: Sarcasm much?

Me: Boy, you caught on to that in a hurry.

Marcus: Sometimes I feel like you sit at home, waiting for me to text you so that you can send replies like this.

Me: It passes the time.