Me: Hey, 4am. How’s it going?

4am: Oh, not bad. You know how it is.

Me: Yeah… Yeah…. Hey, listen; I honestly don’t know how to say this, so I guess I’ll just have to… say it.

4am: Honey? What is it?

Me: I… It’s just… There’s someone else. I don’t want to see them, but I just can’t help myself.

4am: I – I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?

Me: No, 4am. Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that. This has nothing to do with you; you’re great. I just… I’m so sorry. I hate this, but I don’t have a choice.

4am: At least tell me who it is…?

5am: Hey, sweet cheeks. You ready? Who’s this clown?

4am: … … Felix? I don’t understa-

5am: Beat it, loser.

Me: I’m sorry, 4am. Maybe… Maybe you should just go.

5am: Heh. That’s right. His ass is mine now.

6am: You just wait, pretty little peach. You just wait.

7am: *cracks knuckles and spits on the floor*

Join the conversation! 2 Comments

  1. that’s genuinely original and very funny mate. …which in a world that has given us joe pasquale is nothing short of miraculous.

  2. I was going to comment earlier, but I slept in.


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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.


A few of my better posts, Random rubbish that I can't think of a category for


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