Okay, I’m a little late for this one, but it’s been eating me up inside since I reluctantly saw the movie on a plane last month. 2014’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: a film that tries desperately to convince us that it isn’t a Michael Bay film, all the while trying desperately to emulate a Michael […]

*phone rings*

Bad guy: Are we finally ready to negotiate?

Good guy: Look, god, I’ll bring you the damn money, just please don’t hurt my family, please.

Bad guy: Very well. You have 8 hours.

Good guy: I, uh… 8 hours? Dude, it’s like a 10 hour drive just to get to you.

Bad guy: Oh, yeah. Uh, that could be a problem, huh.

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Well, the movie has been out for a while now, making the rounds in front of the loathing and loving alike, but one thing that’s for sure: it’s certainly in breach of social etiquette to still own a copy of the book. I don’t care if you’ve had it since you were twelve, the time has come. Worry not, however, because herein lies a list of ways to dispose of your now painfully uncool hard copy.
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I know what you’re all thinking…

“There just isn’t enough hard, sweaty, brooding, overly masculine, strong-jawed men in the Fast and Furious franchise!”

Well don’t worry, guys… they brought in The Rock for the newest instalment to add a bit of realistic manliness to the effeminate, and apparently never ending, movie chain. Continue reading