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FELIX: We should have a chat again sometime, Ian. About, uhh… I don’t know, anything. The Egyptian revolution.

 

IAN: Fuck’s sake. Not all that. Sphinx an’ Pyramids an’ shit. What came first, the sand or the stone?

 

FELIX: Yup, that’ll do. That’s the Egyptian revolution covered.

 

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After seeing a news story regarding immigration…

IAN: We spend so much on immigration… Can’t they just go back where they came from?

FELIX: Well, maybe they come from a country that is impoverished or war-torn or without basic human rights…

IAN: That’s their fault…

FELIX: No, it’s not. It’s just the luck of where they happen to be born. An English politician once said something about how being born in England is like winning first prize in the lottery of life.

IAN: Who said that?

FELIX: He was a politician or a businessman or something.

IAN: Right… I know he’s dead but…

FELIX: You don’t know he’s dead…

IAN: Well, he needs escavatin’ and shoved back in a hole with a cap in his head.

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FELIX: Okay, tell me something that you don’t understand about the universe.

IAN: … Uranus.

FELIX: No, really…

IAN: Summat’ ah don’t understand? Women… Oh, an’ do fish piss in the sea and bears shit in the woods. Now that is a question.

FELIX: No… It isn’t. Come on, out of everything in reality, what do you really not understand. Gravity? Evolution? The possibilities of time travel?

IAN: Right… What came first, right… Organism… Egg… Chicken…?

FELIX: Well, a chicken is an organism. And eggs came before chickens, remember it’s not just chickens that lay eggs.

IAN: Everything ‘atches from somethin’.

FELIX: Well, we don’t technically ‘hatch’.

IAN: Nah, we come out ah mummy’s twat.

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