Earlier today, I attempted to call my phone company in order to sort out an upgrade, and, when I was inevitably put on hold, I found that, in lieu of the typical polyphonic elevator music, I was to be subjected to what I can only describe as a bizarre clacking reminiscent of the old Internet dial up tone. As I was too lazy to endure the simply arduous torture of holding my phone up to the side of my face, I decided to plug it into my earphones, meaning that I could hear nothing but the robotic white noise reverberating through my skull.
As I was strolling briskly from work one morning, I was subject to a very interesting close encounter. The phrase ‘close encounter’ has an inherent connotation of extraterrestrialism, but I assure you, what met me was far stranger. On this fair-weathered morning, I was suddenly accosted by Mormons (no, not ‘morons’ although the parallels are certainly present).
It snowed here a little while ago. I took some photos, because why not. I’ve become one of those Instagram assholes. It’s why my food is always cold. I digress. Here’s some white stuff to look at.
Okay, I’m a little late for this one, but it’s been eating me up inside since I reluctantly saw the movie on a plane last month. 2014’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: a film that tries desperately to convince us that it isn’t a Michael Bay film, all the while trying desperately to emulate a Michael […]
Upon a recent afternoon at work, I had a group of three middle-aged ladies enter the store and begin pawing through some of the quant gadgets and objets d’art that we have littered across the shelve. After a short while, one of the ladies happened upon a jigsaw puzzle that we sell that, when assembled, […]
I assume you do, but just in case, here are a couple of pictures of Rebecca and me looking ludicrously amazing at a recent wedding that we attended.
I’d spent the day in hospital at my ladyfriend’s bedside, but had to leave to catch the last train home. As I reached the platform, it pulled up and I realised that I was stood next to the ‘First Class’ carriage. I stared down the platform for a moment, to wonder if I could even […]