Okay, I’m a little late for this one, but it’s been eating me up inside since I reluctantly saw the movie on a plane last month. 2014’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: a film that tries desperately to convince us that it isn’t a Michael Bay film, all the while trying desperately to emulate a Michael […]

Okay… so you all remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:┬áthe campy cartoons, and slightly-less-campy comics, about the anthropomorphic warrior turtles with their rat master, Splinter, right? And do you all remember the primary antagonist of the franchise: the evil samurai looking chap ominously referred to as ‘Shredder‘? Well for those of you that do, but aren’t sure as to just what became of Mr ‘Shredder’, I would like to inform you of something:

The Turtles decapitated him.

This isn’t like Sonic the Hedgehog, where Dr Robotnik gets a bonk on the head; nor is it Mario, where Bowser simply gets kicked off screen while vicious sociopath Mario tries to garner an appreciation fuck out of the traumatised princess. This is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…

… and when you fuck with them, they cut your fucking head off.

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