She’s the kind of person who’ll put on a Facebook video about some people telling the ‘heartfelt’ story of how they rehabilitated a crippled dog, but she doesn’t have the heart not to laugh the whole way through. Here’s a recap of the last two minutes.

‘If that came near me, I’d tread on it.’

*laughter break*

What a useless pet. Why haven’t they killed it?’

‘I feel like I’m laughing at a spastic child.’

Look at his fucking legs!’

*laughter break*

Oh god, am I bad person?’

Haha look! They’ve taped his legs together. What’s that leg doing? Imagine if that were your child. He’d just be stood there like this.’

*gets up and imitates crippled dog*

And then he’d be all like…’

*hobbles around for a bit and then lies on the carpet, laughing*

What are you writing? Are you writing everything I’m saying? If you word it the word you word things, I’m going to sound awful.’

Join the conversation! 3 Comments

  1. Just one question: why haven’t you married her yet? That kind of wit will bring al the boys to the yard. I mean screw milkshakes, man. This stuff is gold!

  2. There are no words for how happy this made me. I also love your girlfriend.



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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.


A few of my better posts, Stories Involving the Lady-friend


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