Here’s a quick recap of why my girlfriend is an evil maniac
She’s the kind of person who’ll put on a Facebook video about some people telling the ‘heartfelt’ story of how they rehabilitated a crippled dog, but she doesn’t have the heart not to laugh the whole way through. Here’s a recap of the last two minutes.
‘If that came near me, I’d tread on it.’
‘What a useless pet. Why haven’t they killed it?’
‘I feel like I’m laughing at a spastic child.’
‘Look at his fucking legs!’
‘Oh god, am I bad person?’
‘Haha look! They’ve taped his legs together. What’s that leg doing? Imagine if that were your child. He’d just be stood there like this.’
*gets up and imitates crippled dog*
‘And then he’d be all like…’
*hobbles around for a bit and then lies on the carpet, laughing*
‘What are you writing? Are you writing everything I’m saying? If you word it the word you word things, I’m going to sound awful.’
Just one question: why haven’t you married her yet? That kind of wit will bring al the boys to the yard. I mean screw milkshakes, man. This stuff is gold!
Reblogged this on We Will Wait.
There are no words for how happy this made me. I also love your girlfriend.