Becky: There’s no way way I’m going to work tomorrow.

Becky: The ghost boy is rat-a-tat-tatting on the door! Why is he going to open the door? Now you’ve invited it in! That’s the rule of vampires! If my cat ever knocks on the door, I’ll kill it.

Becky: Can the ghost touch him? If a ghost touched me, I’d be sick.

Becky: How do the actors actually act this out!? I’d poo. I’d literally do a poo. ‘Alright, Becky. Lets try this one more time. Take fifty-six!’

Becky: That house is so manky. It’s the creepiest fucking place ever. Why would someone live in a house that looks like that?

Becky: What is that fucking noise? Turn it off, Felix! No one rocks in a rocking chair like that!

Becky: How do ghosts not scare themselves? Just sitting there, rocking back and forth. How is she not fucking terrified?

Becky: Okay. Can you press ‘play’ again? I don’t want to touch the iPad.

Becky: I think that there might be something wrong with my heart. I don’t think it’s okay.

Becky: I’m not sleeping tonight. Or ever. That’s when she gets you.

Becky: I can’t see if I hide behind my waffle! Wait, no! Scrap that! The waffle has holes in it! It does nothing!

Becky: That doll has spiky teeth! What is the purpose of that doll? If someone gave me that doll, I’d throw it at their head.

Becky: Why do I keep gagging? Is this my new reaction to being scared? Don’t ever jump out at me, or I’ll vomit in your face.

Becky: Children are creepy as fuck. They can walk through walls.

Becky: Fee, my phone charger’s wrapped around me leg! It’s got me! It’s trying to kill me!

Becky: Okay, I’m done. Whatever. Turn it off.

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Join the conversation! 6 Comments

  1. Lol this was my reaction to watching The Woman In Black as well. I can never look at cymbal claning monkeys the same again…and I had to sleep for 4 months with the light on and I couldn’t be alone in the house because I would have anxiety attacks. This story totally cracked me up because I relate to it tit for tat :) THanks for sharing.

    Reply
  2. I knew almost immediately what movie it was. Scariest fucking movie ever.

    Reply
  3. This being funny aside I don’t even know why people watch horror movies! Let alone watch why the hell do they make horror movies. You won’t believe me mate but I poo at the mere mention of a horror movie! I even get scared watching a brainless one like Grudge. I know it wasn’t all that scary because my girlfriend was in hysterics seeing me shutting my eye every time the tempo increased. She was of the opinion that I was a better funny movie than Oscar!

    They shouldn’t make horror movies man.

    Reply
  4. Okay…..best line: “my waffle has holes in it! It does nothing!”. I could make a whole movie out of that line. Copyright everything your girlfriend says from now on, in perpetuity. Or like, you know, forever. I’ve seen the future…and the future is waffle-shaped.

    Reply
  5. I talk during movies too; I can’t help it! It drives hubby nuts. I wouldn’t say this stuff though because he refuses to watch scary movies.
    Love the waffle thing! If a bed sheet over your head offers protection from demonic entities and homicidal poltergeists then why wouldn’t a holey waffle. Hehe-h! Holey! Geddit??

    Reply

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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.

Category

Stories Involving the Lady-friend

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