So, at the staff party the other night, one of my managers got extremely inebriated (well, all of them did, but this story involves just the one). She was given a ‘secret santa’ present (which was well over the spending limit, so… decent gift!) from one of the new guys. It was a pair of, get this, microwaveable slippers. How amazing does that sound? Anyway, being drunk, she preceded to berate him, calling them (and him) stupid and weird, and ordering him to get her something better. On an unrelated note, later on that night, her fiancé punched him in the face and nearly broke his nose… accidentally.

Anyway, cut to today, and the aforementioned manager was calling him up to apologise and tell her how much she loved the slippers, while I stood next to her, serving some customers. This is the conversation that took place from the point where the customers came to the bar.

Her: I got my present.
Him: Oh, yeah? Still hate it?
Her: I love it! I’m going to wear it in bed tonight!
Him: Really, because for some reason, I thought you hated it!
Her: *giggles*
Him: Have you tried one of them on? Did it fit?
Her: It’s quite tight, but so nice and warm…

Okay. Now, I’ll repeat the (loud) conversation from the point of view of the customers standing a foot away at the bar with me.

Her: I got my present.
Her: I love it! I’m going to wear it in bed tonight!
Her: *giggles*
Her: It’s quite tight, but so nice and warm…

At this point, I thought I ought to assuage the look of shock on the face of the couple I was serving, but I figured that rather than say ‘You probably think that she’s talking about some sexy lingerie or something, but it’s actually just slippers…’, I figured I’d just keep quiet and relish in telling her how loud she was speaking (and what she was saying to one side audience) afterwards.


Join the conversation! 2 Comments

  1. She still doesn’t deserve those slippers.


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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.


Weird things that somehow happen to me


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