This is a question I was asked recently, and I’ve decided to post the answer that I gave.

I don’t think marriage is for me, mostly because if you take away the religious aspect of it, all you’re really doing is making your relationship legally complicated. A lot of people think of it as this grand gesture that will make everything better in a struggling relationship, but for a relationship to be successful, it has to seem like you’re already married. It has to be so perfectly balanced and accepted with both good and bad points, that writing it down on a piece of legally binding paper is incapable of improving it. If people marry because they think it will improve their relationship, then when they realise that it doesn’t, they’ll regret it. However, if people do it as simply a respectful acknowledgement of the public declaration of their companionship, then yeah, sure. I suppose I can’t find fault in that reasoning. I’d love to be able to call Becky ‘my wife’, as opposed to the childish ‘girlfriend’ or the gender ambiguous ‘partner’, but throwing away thousands of pounds on a celebration that’s more for everyone else than it would be for us, followed by a mandatory honeymoon, just seems daft. I’d rather keep all of that money and buy her a decade’s worth of flowers and presents and random holidays when we feel like it, and not concern ourselves with how our relationship is legally and publicly viewed.

SO! To answer the question: Yes and no. It is antiquated in people thinking of it as a fundamental part of a healthy relationship; but also, it’s a fair tradition, and if you’re feeling like putting on a huge, overblown, romantic gesture to cement your love for someone to whom it is already rock solid, then sure, why not.

Join the conversation! 5 Comments

  1. I think you should marry Becky.

  2. I’m old-fashioned. But in Canada, if you’ve lived together for 1 year, you’re considered common-law married and it can get legally complicated when the relationship ends. So you’re snookered either way! :-)

  3. In Ro, after 7 years it is like in Canada… but the thing with the marriage is, at least for girls, a way to know that they belong to someone. While not still married, Becky is up for grabs and you might find her being stolen by another man. Tie her down, bind her in and she’ll love ya :)

  4. Still you gave a very romantic answer with relation to the money spending. You need to broadcast it! It will make you look a bit sappy but all the girl followers will be all over you!

  5. I feel pretty much the same way. I like the romantic idea of making a grand gesture, and I like the idea of calling someone my wife or husband. But it doesn’t change your life and there’s very little difference in marriage or living together. So I’ll leave it completely open and see how my partner feels about the subject.


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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.


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