I just want to start by saying NOBODY DIED. NO ONE IS DEAD. EVERYONE IS OKAY.

Now, I was checking Facebook (because I’m meant to be packing for holiday and I needed something to help me avoid it) and I found a link that said R.I.P. [girl’s name]. I was intrigued (okay, amused) by the quastionably ‘posey’ photo that had been selected as the group photo, so I clicked onto it. It was a memorial page for a girl who had died a few days before. Now, being something of a stickler for grammar (and also, a heartless piece of shit), I started laughing to myself at some of the grammatical and spelling errors that were in the condolence comments.

Okay, when I say laughing to myself… I mean I was howling like The Joker and crying like… someone with a dead dog, I don’t know. Either way, I was laughing my fucking head off. Now, I later found out that the page was a fake, so don’t hate me too much… Although I didn’t know it was a fake when I was already laughing, so hate me a bit. Anyway, since it was, for some reason, a fake, I can share with you a short list of half quotes, and half points of interest, without earning too much derision… I hope.

1. The memorial photo was of the supposedly dead girl, in a bikini, doing a duck face.

2. The first link was a request to follow the girl’s mum, who’s profile picture showed her, also in a bikini.

3. As soon as I saw it, I said out loud “Probably something to do with getting drunk?”. When I clicked onto it, it turned out that the apparent ‘cause of death’ was getting pissed and tripping into an oncoming car.

4. “That’s such a shame :( no teenager should die young <;3“

5. “R.i.p i dont no u but my the angle be wif ya family nd friend x”

6. “awwwww god bless her nd famly dnt no her but what a gawjiss lass she is didnt deserve to die my thoughts r wiv her famly at these sad time R.I.P your an beautiful angle now sleep tite my hun :( <;3<;3<;3“

Those quotes were exactly as posted, and they were only the three that I remembered to screen capture between my fits of hysteria.

Now, it’s not my fault that I found it so funny! In any case, it turned out to be a fake, because someone was commenting saying that the picture was of her, and that she obviously wasn’t dead. However, it still had over 6000 ‘likes’ in two days, so for a fake death site, that’s pretty messed up.

So anyway, yeah… If any of you die, and there’s a spelling mistake on your grave, I will laugh my fucking tits off, so… sorry.

Join the conversation! 3 Comments

  1. Did she die of a misspelling overdose, or a grammar embolism?

    Reply
  2. Why would anyone post a fake death notice? Why would anyone post a death notice on facebook? Why are schools churning out illiterate morons at such an incredible rate? Why is this bothering me so much?

    Reply

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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.

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A few of my better posts, Weird things that somehow happen to me

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