Okay, guys… I’ve come up with a new section. At the restaurant where I work, we give out little comment cards at the end of each meal. Ninety nine times out of ten, they’re pretty dull and unspectacular; but every so often we’ll get some thing really stupid.

This isn’t one of those times. I mean, it’s pretty stupid… But I just felt like writing about one, and this was the best I had. So anyway, keep a look out for some forthcoming Comment Cards post, and we’ll get started with this one!


Now, this one seems okay. A pretty standard good review; two ‘fantastics’ and a ‘very good’. It was the bit at the bottom that caught my eye though. Her suggested improvement is that we wheel food out in front of her.

Okay, so… She says she’s full. She doesn’t want a dessert, she couldn’t eat another bite. We’ve shown her a dessert menu, so she knows exactly what there is, and she’s turned it all down. However, if we were then to wheel a tiny little trolley through our tightly packed restaurant, and physical hold a cake up to her face, she’d be powerless to resist it. It’s almost like saying if someone says they don’t want to order a dessert, you should just bring them one anyway, and plonk it down on their plate; because if it’s there, they’ll bloody eat it.

I didn’t see the lady myself, so I’m not sure what she looked like, but I’ll take a wild stab in the dark and say maybe fat. She doesn’t want a dessert, and she’s full. She’s being good; after all, she is on a diet, and nothing is going to break her steeled willpower… But wait, what’s that that she’s seen brought out in front of her.


It’s right there; she can see it, she could reach out and touch it if she wanted. She must have it; her resolve: broken. She grabs the dessert; tucks in, tearing at it with ravenous teeth, bracelets jangling and drowning out the silent screams of the cake that was but is no more.

All because it was there.

Fair enough, in this story I was actually imagining it being stolen off an adjacent table, as opposed to a dessert trolley, because really; if you can see the desserts at the next table anyway, what’s the difference?

Join the conversation! 2 Comments

  1. Ergo, this is why Iraq invaded Kuwait…….

  2. Life is uncertain…eat dessert first…or only?!?!


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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.


Weird things that somehow happen to me


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