I don’t often speak up when confronted, or witnessing a confrontation, from an outside instigator, but when I do; boy, does my quick wit show them…
So, some assholes came up to the bar at closing time last night. This is what happened.
Asshole 1: What time do you close tonight?
Co-worker: About five minutes, sir.
Asshole 2: Ha! Fuck off!
Co-worker: I’m afraid so, and please don’t swear.
Asshole 1: We aren’t fucking going anywhere, mate.
Asshole 2: Yeah, we’re staying and getting fucking pissed.
Asshole 1: We’ll still be here at fucking six in the morning, mate.
Me (from across the bar): Yeah? Well you’ll be pretty thirsty.
BOOM! Fucking take that shit, asshole. Yeah, you better not quite understand my joke and slowly walk away. Believe it, bitch.
I showed him, right guys?
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I don’t quite get it, so I’m just going to slowly walk away.