Ian: I have to study for this new qualification…

Felix: What’s the paper on?

Ian: Communication.

Felix: Communication? You? You can barely string a sentence together!

Ian: I know! Gotta learn proper English!

Felix: Want me to to tutor you?

Ian: Worked with the maths…

Felix: Okay, which are the nouns in this sentence: The cat sat in the tree.

Ian: Uhhh… Hold on… *counts to seven on his fingers* … C… A… No wait, those are vowels.

Felix: C? C isn’t a vowel.

Ian: Nah, it’s a continent.

Felix: Consonant.

Ian: Noun…

Felix: …?

Ian: Let’s do this some other time.


To probe deeper into the wondrous mind of Ian Jackson, click here for the full archive.

Join the conversation! 8 Comments

  1. Lol’d. Brilliant.

  2. Oh, God.. I clicked the link and read the others..the bit about Top Gun…I’m in agony–might’ve ruptured something in m’forebrain. Hilarious stuff.

    • I think the airport one might be my favourite! Or the Bish Bash Bosh Big Bang one…

      • Oh, yes… That’s just… amazing.
        Do you actually sit and interview him, formally? Is that the means by which these conversations are birthed and captured? I’ve got a neighbour with a traumatic brain injury that might be worth approaching in such a fashion, but I think he would come across best in audio…

        • Ooh, ouch! Haha… No, these are literally just normal conversations as we work, and if I can be bothered, half way through, I’ll just start thinking “This is probably worth writing down.”

          90% of the very best ones I’ve missed because I’ve had too much work to do to waste time writing everything out. You should hear his accent. It makes it all so much funnier.

  3. I make sure to visit your site each day. Even if you haven’t put up a new post, the tweets have me on the floor.


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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.


The Unusual World of Mr. Ian Jackson


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