I was strolling through town a couple of days ago, pretending I wasn’t late for work, when I came across an unusual sight. There was a young lady who looked no older than maybe twelve or thirteen. She had giant sunglasses and a backwards cap, a ‘top’ that was barely more than a bra (I think it’s called a ‘boob tube’ or something)’ and a pair of shorts that she had fashioned by cutting the legs of some jeans. Now the thing that struck me about the jean-shorts was that the desperate girl had cut them so short that her pocket linings were clearly hanging down her thighs.

This isn’t a rant about how twelve year olds shouldn’t be forced into the mindset of having to dress provocatively at their age; I’ve done that shtick before (see here), this is just about how badly I can’t reconcile what I consider to look acceptable, with what other people wear…

I’m not a very stylish person. I buy a couple of cool-ish items of clothing once or twice a year (if I absolutely have to), but beyond that, I’m not overly interested. Interestingly enough however, is that despite what little opinion I have of my own ‘fashion’, I find myself so astounded when I see certain people around in public. ‘Pocket linings girl’ was pretty funny, but what about ‘massive headphones around his neck that aren’t plugged into anything guy’, or ‘pants so low he has to spread his legs and walk with a limp guy’, not to mention ‘so much fake tan, you turn luminous orange girl’, ‘bright pink army camouflage dude’ and the ‘all in one matching jogging suits with bright white shoes couple’.

I just find it so strange that some of these garish costumes can make it through the filtration process that goes on in all of our heads when we look in the mirror. I mean, what went wrong? How can they stand in the mirror, check out the half-shaved head, pull down the trousers, pull up the hood, and think to themselves “Yeah. That works. That’s good. I’m ready to go out looking like this.” It just seems like there’s a part of their brain that should be saying “Hey, buddy. You might just want to rethink everything that you’re doing right now.”

But hey… This is all coming from a guy who wears mismatched shoes, so if I were you, I probably wouldn’t give it a second thought.

Join the conversation! 5 Comments

  1. My cousin likes to call it the uniform of life, if you don’t wear the uniform properly you shouldn’t expect people to take you seriously. Example: Girl who wears pajama pants to every class session including the one where we were asked to dress for a presentation. Did she change her pants? No, but she did wear a dress shirt.

  2. Reblogged this on dfmw and commented:
    yuuuuup! you got that right.

  3. I should preface my comment by admitting that I own a tie. After all, I am 53. But then again, I only bought it because it’s black and covered in chains, studs, eyelets and safety pins, whiuch I thought rendered it suitably un-tie like. I don’t have any actual ‘shoes’ – you know , the black kind that normal people go to work in. So, as with your good self – people should feel free to ignore anything I say on fashion. I search for flares for chrissake, and wear women’s jeans. (It’s not a fetish or anything, they’re just easier to find with style, and don’t have the big arses in them that all fashionistas seem to assume blokes have. We’re not all truckers from Grimsby you know.
    But I have to say – I’ve seen many of pocket-lining girl’s brethren (or should that be sister-then?)
    and, despite what I’m sure they think, it ain’t pretty. Something else I’d like to highlight in the wake of your article, is my hatred of those stupid bloody slipper-type shoes that girls seem to be wearing now – you know the ones, just a little pointy bit at the front, no discernible sole, and under so much surface tension that when they take them off they curl up like a month old orange peel. Everybody’s wearing them, and when they’ve got chubby legs, they look like a pointy little afterthought on the end of a pink ……thing. Sorry.

  4. and here I thought I was the only one who thought like this.. agreed!


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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.


Me complaining about stuff


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