I was serving a kindly old man at the bar today. He had come for lunch, as he has often done since his wife died recently. He’s probably near 90 and, despite his frailty, is always very nice and polite and funny.

Today when he came, there was a little boy screaming and shouting in excitement, as tedious toddlers often do, on the other side of the restaurant area. As I gave the elderly gentleman his child’s portion meal (I told you he was old), I asked him if there was anything else I could get him. He laughed and said “A couple of earphones!“, and then looked over at the still screaming infant, who began waving frantically at the old man. Then, as he smiled and began waving back, he shot me a quick glance, and said, still waving and smiling, “… and a gun.”

A child murder joke from a 90 year old man.

I’ve never had a grandfather, but if I did… I’d want it to be him.

Join the conversation! 16 Comments

  1. I was hoping he was going to shoot the adult who was with the kid. But, failing that, this will do.

  2. sounds like my dad, lol! too funny Felix, thanks for sharing! :) Terri

  3. That’s like something i would say, bloody kids :lol:

  4. Love him! Funny how you can suffer loads of hell all day and that.one.thing. ruins your day – but in this case, he made up for a lot of it!

  5. Love….even though I have rugrats of my own. ;)

  6. Awesome! He sounds like my late granddad.

  7. I love people, especially older ones, that have a good sense of humor.
    Cracks me up!

  8. Very funny :) Cheered me up on an early midweek morning. Thanks for the follow.. I want to do the same.

  9. He does sound like an awesome Grandpa. I’m on board for a grandpa like this too… and no children like that, ever.

  10. A Grandpa with a sense o’ humor sure beats a Grumpy ol’ man any day!

  11. I was once waiting to see a Justice of the Peace and there was a young mom with kids there. The kids were screaming and hanging of the door knob. The JP called me in after disengaging a child from his door knob and quipped to me “Little rats, they should all be beaten.” He was joking but it’s nice to see that the law has a sense of humour.

  12. I love it that he’s muttering under his breath for a gun while waving and smiling at the kid at the same time. No irony lost there.

  13. For some reasons, as you get older, restaurants tend to seat the older people in the same section as the screaming kids while leaving the “singles” alone. I think if restaurants seated screaming kids among the daters in the restaurant if would be a heck of a method of birth control! Ha!


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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.


A few of my better posts, Weird things that somehow happen to me


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