Tag Archives: Work

IMG_5473.JPG October 21

My new favourite person

As I slaved away at work today, a chap came in with a look of neutered interest, and began half-glancing at a few of the cards we had on the stands. ‘Let me know if you need a hand with anything,’ I said, met with a half-smile from him. He told me he had an […]

20140724-154838-56918015.jpg July 24

Keep it together, officer…

Here’s an unusual encounter that befell me yesterday. I was at work, quite quiet, very hot, when in walked a fully uniformed policeman. They occasionally make the rounds in my area, popping in just to say hello and reinforce their presence. This chap, however, was a little more memorable than many of his predecessors.

20140716-230259-82979360.jpg July 16

If elevator music was impregnanted by call waiting music…

Sadly, the music playing license at the shop in which I work has expired without renewal, and so gone are the days of the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, and a myriad of other brilliant and accomplished artists, and here to stay are the days of free, unlicensed noise fodder from the internet, literally […]

20140714-000401-241113.jpg July 13

Remember your place, tiny Lego duck family…

I created you, AND I CAN DESTROY YOU.

20140708-111614-am-40574079.jpg July 08

Photo Photo?

A typical day at work (a typically quiet day at work) was interrupted earlier when an adorable Chinese couple came in to my store for a little look around. They perused the stock for a short while, before the young lady glanced over at me and began whispering to her male companion (which immediately made […]

Screen Shot 2014-04-01 at 15.44.38 April 26

Cray-ders of The Lost Ark

I know, right? Shitty title. It’s fine whatever. It’ll make sense. A family just came into my store: momma, dadda, baby (probably about 2 years old, I don’t know kid ages. Is a two year old still technically even a baby?). I spoke to the parents about clocks for a short while, before the little […]

20140419-234910.jpg April 19

Warning: this card is stupid

Okay, so I have to look at this card at work every day, and I’ve decided to let you guys in on why it pisses me off so much.

20140331-192325.jpg March 31

Super Dumb Guy

A super dumb guy just came into my store with a presumably equally dumb friend (they pulled up outside in a transit van, you guys; they’re transit van dumb). The super dumb one (the first super dumb one, not the second dumb one that didn’t talk much but has been assumed to be being equally […]

Awkward Customer Interaction: Special Edition

*as I carefully gift wrap an item that a young lady is purchasing* Her: Don’t worry about making it too neat. It’s fine like that. Me: Oh, sorry. That’s just me being anal. Her: Haha, that’s okay. I like anal. Me: Phrasing. Her: Wha – oh, god.

20140320-040656-pm.jpg March 20

Awkward Customer Interaction #4843

The story of how a stranger came in to my shop and kind of asked me to cheat on my girlfriend.

BODIES

A customer just popped in and, after a bit of mooching around, came over to the counter to pay for a mug. As she did, she smiled and said ‘My husbands going to be so furious. “Just what we need,” he’ll say, “another bloody mug!”’ In response, I laughed and said ‘There are certainly worse […]

20140311-032559-pm.jpg March 11

Never use twitter humour in the company of total strangers, Felix

A customer popped in to work today and, after a bit of mooching around, came over to the counter to pay for a mug. As she did, she smiled and said ‘My husbands going to be so furious. “Just what we need,” he’ll say, “another bloody mug!”‘ In response, I laughed and said ‘There are […]

spidey October 01

The time I made friends with Spider-Man

So I was at work yesterday when a young kid came in with his father. He was probably about eight years old, I guess (I’m pretty terrible at estimating kids’ ages), and was dressed from head to toe in a full body Spider-Man suit. Anyway, father and son began wandering the store; the dad was […]

Here’s something weird that my manager recently said to me…

Manager (female): I’ve put the new girl on the bar with you tonight, so no distracting her. Me: What do you mean ‘distracting’? Manager: You just… have a way of distracting the female staff. Me: Do I? Manager: You do. Me: How? Manager: You just… do. So don’t. Me: Well, how can I not do […]

How not to speak to your manager

Michelle: Where are these drinks going? Me: They’re going to… oh, your favourite table. Number 69. Michelle: Uh, no that’s not actually my favourite. Me: In terms of table numbers, it probably is. It’s not like we have a ‘table anal’.

20121122-013523-am November 22

‘Hey, Felix… Can you print off a “wet paint” sign for the wall?’

‘Oh… Oh, yeah… I can totally do that.’

Restaurant Comment Cards: Just put the food INTO my mouth…

Okay, guys… I’ve come up with a new section. At the restaurant where I work, we give out little comment cards at the end of each meal. Ninety nine times out of ten, they’re pretty dull and unspectacular; but every so often we’ll get some thing really stupid. This isn’t one of those times. I […]

Today’s Wearisome Adventure

I’m working my second job again today, and then as soon as I finish cashing up here after an 8 and a half hour day, I have to run home, get changed, and then run to the next town to work my second job for another 5 hours or so. There’s a bottle of toxic […]

I wonder if this has anything to do with why I don’t have many friends at work…

Me: You know, instead of reading that book, you could actually help me do some work. Co-worker: I’m not technically reading. It’s a book of photos. Me: I know, I know. I just assumed that looking at a picture book would be the closest you’d ever get to reading, and I wanted to sound encouraging. […]

The Best Customer I’ve Ever Had

I was serving a kindly old man at the bar today. He had come for lunch, as he has often done since his wife died recently. He’s probably near 90 and, despite his frailty, is always very nice and polite and funny. Today when he came, there was a little boy screaming and shouting in […]

Conversations with Ian – The Mysteries of the Universe

FELIX: Okay, tell me something that you don’t understand about the universe. IAN: … Uranus. FELIX: No, really… IAN: Summat’ ah don’t understand? Women… Oh, an’ do fish piss in the sea and bears shit in the woods. Now that is a question. FELIX: No… It isn’t. Come on, out of everything in reality, what do you really […]

photo-5 March 31

Another Productive Shift

It was rather quiet at work today, so I grabbed a pen and started doodling on one of the order pads. I think it speaks volumes about my love of the service industry that this is what came out.

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