So when I went out today, I was planning on going via the bank to pay in my holiday fund. I took the whole bundle, a little more than a fair few hundred, and headed off. However, I forgot to take into account that I was a moron, so naturally the bank was closed, it being Saturday and all. I was now stuck in town with all that green in my pocket, so I went to hurriedly grab a snack and head home.
On the way back, I saw a homeless, drunk guy. I’ve spoken to him before, actually. The other day he very politely asked “Excuse me, sir… But would you like a fight?”, to which I calmly replied “No, thanks. I’m alright.”
So there he was, and I suddenly had a thought. The meanest part of my brain figured it might be funny to stand in front of him, and flip through my fold of money, which was otherwise all in £50 notes, and find the one £5 in the middle to give to him. I was wearing chinos, a vest and a cardigan, so I certainly looked like a rich shit head. I weighed up the pros (e.g. Hilarity) with the cons (e.g. Harshness) and made a decision that I stuck to.
Now, I’m not going to tell you whether or not I did it. I’ll leave that for you to decide… But it may or may not have been pretty funny.