When you’re unhappy, you wonder if you’ve ever been happy.

This is something that creeps across my mind a lot. I have ups and I have downs, but I know that even my best days are tainted with something that spoils the flavour of them. You’re so sure that it can’t be normal, but you still wonder if it is; and if it is, then you have to face up to your own shortcomings as a person, for being so utterly defeated by something that everyone else deals with, and overcomes, on a daily basis.

I sometimes feel like there’s no colour in my world. It’s as simple as that. I look out across a sea of blues and greens and shimmering golds, and my brain only shows me shades of grey; and as the smiles play across the faces of those who see what I see, but not as I see it, it only serves to remind me of the part of myself that seems to be missing.

I don’t believe in ‘souls’; but if I did, that’s what I’d say I’d misplaced.

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