So, I’ve finally decided to get back into twitter after a while of not really enjoying it the way I should be. Like any social media platform, you can eventually forget why you started using it in the first place, and allow it to become a chore; but there are a few simple solutions that […]


My girlfriend just turned on Siri and said ‘Convert 9 stone…’ and then looked at me and said ‘… into what?’ There was no preliminary for this exchange. We were silently watching The X-Files. This is a pretty strong microcosm of what it’s like to live with her.


As I slaved away at work today, a chap came in with a look of neutered interest, and began half-glancing at a few of the cards we had on the stands. ‘Let me know if you need a hand with anything,’ I said, met with a half-smile from him. He told me he had an […]

A customer just popped in and, after a bit of mooching around, came over to the counter to pay for a mug. As she did, she smiled and said ‘My husbands going to be so furious. “Just what we need,” he’ll say, “another bloody mug!”’ In response, I laughed and said ‘There are certainly worse […]

Because 6 has a severe anxiety disorder. He’s actually scared of all the other numbers; I don’t know why I specifically mentioned 7.


… and when this flailing relationship comes to an abrupt, but inevitable, end, I can guarantee you, that this will have been a factor. (also, she never stirs in the sugar so it just sits in the bottom like sludge, but I’ll let that go for now because it’s hot chocolate, so there’s no sugar […]


Me: Have you heard from Matt recently? Sophie just called me saying that he sounded upset about something when she spoke to him. Charlie: Are you sure? You know what Sophie’s like. Besides, Matt’s with his girlfriend. Maybe that was just his ‘I very recently had sex’ voice? You know the one I mean? Me: I […]