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Felix: What’s your favourite film?
Ian: Uhh… I’ve got two.
Felix: Well, what are they?
Ian: One’s Top Gun and one’s Armageddon.
Felix: … Those are both… Awful. Why? Armageddon?
Ian: Yeah, it’s kinda funny.
Felix: Funny? What’s funny about Armageddon; there’s not a single joke in that film.
Ian: It’s humour…
Felix: Okay… So, so why Top Gun? That’s pretty homoerotic.
Ian: It’s just… It’s a movie… It’s a movie I watched with my babysitter when I was fifteen and she was twenty… … three.
Felix: How does that impact on the film?
Ian: ‘Cause I remember I went to see it, I was into aeroplanes at the time. So I watched the movie Top Gun.
Felix: Well, why does it matter about the babysitter?
Ian: ‘Cause she were to… Mah… The babysitter were babysitting me when I wanted to watch the movie.
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After seeing a news story regarding immigration…

IAN: We spend so much on immigration… Can’t they just go back where they came from?

FELIX:¬†Well, maybe they come from a country that is impoverished or war-torn or without basic human rights…

IAN: That’s their fault…

FELIX: No, it’s not. It’s just the luck of where they happen to be born. An English politician once said something about how being born in England is like winning first prize in the lottery of life.

IAN: Who said that?

FELIX: He was a politician or a businessman or something.

IAN: Right… I know he’s dead but…

FELIX: You don’t know he’s dead…

IAN: Well, he needs escavatin’ and shoved back in a hole with a cap in his head.

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