I have my opener worked out.

I’d walk out onto the stage totally naked, just with my hands covering my crotch-area. I’d act really unsure and confused, and I’d stand there for a few seconds until everyone went quiet. Then, with a look of stupid realisation on my face, I’d say:

“Ooohh… Picture the audience naked… Okay, hold on. I’ll be back in a second.”

And then I’d slowly reverse off stage, and come back fully dressed.

So, how does that sound?