This is a question I was asked recently, and I’ve decided to post the answer that I gave.
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[start] Roll opening production company credits. The picture fades in. We’re in deep space. A cluster of rocks floats lifelessly; the remains of planet Earth after some sort of climactic event. Everything’s gone, and everyone’s dead. The camera slowly pans around the debris for approximately two hours, before the screen fades to black. The whole […]

Me: Hey, 4am. How’s it going? 4am: Oh, not bad. You know how it is. Me: Yeah… Yeah…. Hey, listen; I honestly don’t know how to say this, so I guess I’ll just have to… say it. 4am: Honey? What is it? Me: I… It’s just… There’s someone else. I don’t want to see them, […]

Obviously my own feelings of the legitimacy of the matter aren’t hard to guess. However, for the sake of this article, I will try not to simply summarise this practice with one of the many vulgar four letter words that are currently piling up on the tip of my tongue, gently rapping on my teeth, begging to be freed from their oral captivity.

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Me: You are so not even a real pirate, are you! Somalian Pirate: I so am! Me: Oh, yeah? Quick. What’s your pirate name? Somalian Pirate: I… uhh… Adam? Me: HA! I rest my case. Somalian Pirate: Little man. I kill you now. Me: Yeah? What’re you gonna do, Captain No-beard? Stab me with your […]

… and to be honest, the answer is no; nor do I support women’s rights, racial rights, or religious rights. I do however believe in human rights, and I find it ridiculous to hear people differentiate between that and the other aforementioned issues. People have been so hung up on defining everyone and labelling everyone, […]

A conversation between myself (Me), my girlfriend (Becky), and a man at a grocery store checkout (Him), wherein I forgot that people don’t like being corrected; nor do they like know-it-alls, nor do they like it when someone turns a bit of dull small talk into an actual conversation.

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