This week on The Unsurprising Adventures of Fly Boy (a comic I just made up earlier today by scribbling some terrible drawings an on order pad at work while my boss wasn’t looking), our eponymous hero, Fly Boy, is humming softly through the streets once more; bumping into windows, bothering normal people, running in circles around piles of dog shit, and generally being a man in a fly costume.

Act 1

The ‘fly on the wall’ known to relatively few as ‘Fly Boy’ spots a crime in progress. With the speed of a slug on a piece of salt, Fly Boy waits and watches, remaining ever vigilant as an innocent bystander is shot and killed by an armed assailant. As Fly Boy’s high pitched humming sound gets louder, the criminal menace turns to see his reckoning; curled up on the side of a building, it is FLY BOY. Leaping into action to avenge, since it is presumably too late to save, the repeatedly shot citizen; Fly Boy, who is incapable of flight, plummets Earth-ward, in a head on collision with the criminal miscreant, who raises his gun to point squarely at our misguided hero.

Act 2

With a devil’s might, the gun flares, and a single bullet pierces Fly Boy’s soft head, blasting his brains from whence they came. The blooded corpse, still in terminal velocity, charges down to our devious ne’er-do-well. With the impact of a thousand hammer blows, Fly Boy’s limp corpse crushes down atop the deadly foe, breaking his spine and squashing many other vital bodily components. So to triumph in death do we see our heroic housefly themed masked avenger; his final act, an act of bravery and selflessness the likes of which none would ever comprehend. So ends the adventure, and subsequently the life, of that heroic hero, that outlandish outlaw, that man who spent much of his life in psychiatric care: FLY BOY

Tune in next time as things take a turn for the macabre, in:

The Funeral of Ralph Benson, known to us, as FLY BOY!