To pee, or not to pee? Well, not to pee; would be the short answer. Seriously guys, that’s a little messed up.

Still, I know people with far stranger paraphillias, so it would be inconsistent to dismiss this one. Anyway, I’m not going to examine the potential psychological reasons, or the subconscious motivations, or even the difficulty associated with brining a new partner into your deep, secret fetishes. No, I just have one niggling, little thought that bugs me about it.

Now, call me wild… But most of the sex I have tends to take place in a bedroom of some description. Not always; but often. There are various items of furniture in my bedroom, so variation isn’t a problem; but nine times out of ten, it is still in a bedroom. What I don’t have in my bedroom, is a bath tub. I’m assuming that the act does take place in a bath or a shower; but then again, maybe you can just get plastic sheets for your bed, or something? Having said that, I defy anyone to maintain an erection while your partner whispers “Hold on, I’ll get the tarp.” It’s just not biologiclally possible.

So let’s say it is the bathroom that you’re going for. Does this all have to be planned? Run a shower, climb in, pee, wash pee off, get out the shower, dry, have sex. It sounds like a huge effort for what can’t be that big a turn on. Or perhaps you get ‘the urge‘ mid-colitis, and have to journey from the bed, to the bath (or beyond). That sounds like a mood killer too! Having sex in bed, suggest peeing on each other, stop having sex, go to the bathroom, it’s cold; the guy starts to lose his mojo, he tries to pee on her, but we all know you can’t with an erection because the tube is closed off to make way for the semen; so he’s trying to force it out, she’s completely turned off by the wait, and by the time he starts to pee, she no longer wants to be peed on and just finds it gross, and why is it especially yellow today, is he not drinking enough water?

Basically, the end result is that nobody is happy. If you want a weird sex thing going on, that’s fine; but this one seriously seems to be the most inconvenient of the lot. It’s just a lot easier to have one that you can practice from the bed… Without having to worry about plastic sheets, guttering, or falling asleep in a puddle of piss.

Join the conversation! 4 Comments

  1. Having skipped the golden showers sections of the adult sites, I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. Generally, as long as you don’t frighten the horses, I don’t care, but I agree, the logistics of this just seem a bit too intricate for far too little return.

    Reply
  2. I’ve never thought about this. You have opened my eyes to a very serious issue. I can’t thank you enough

    Reply
  3. not sure about that, come to think of it. Maybe people who like golden showers ALWAYS have a mattress protector/tarp, just in case the urge overcomes them.

    Reply

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About Felix O'Shea

Felix is a guy who isn't actually a writer, but calls himself one when he wants to try to impress gullible people.

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Me complaining about stuff

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