I’ll be honest; I like bees, and I get that bees are important. The necessity of insect pollination is the reason the world is full of lovely, pretty, sweet smelling flowers. I like honey, that’s cool. I like looking at bumble bees, they’re cute. I like the noise. I like the way that when they sting something, they die, because it makes them seem like anthophila suicide bombers.
Having said that, after reading about “a steep decline in bee populations”, I’m really struggling to think of something I could possibly give less of a fuck about.
I mean, come on… Most of us barely care about the African genocides. How can we bee (get it?) expected to care about insect genocides…?
P.S. I want to meet the nutty scientist who said “There don’t seem to be quite as many bees around as there used to be.”
It’s the callous attitude of people like you that has led to the decimation of bee populations. Bees are an important part of the ecosystem and losing them will Fuck Shit Up. (Ever heard of the butterfly effect? The bee effect is similar). You really should care a tiny bit. Ironically, this isn’t even sarcasm.
;)
I’m gonna say maybe there’s a little bit of sarcasm…
My favouritte – and one I’ll be writing about at length – is the bunch of scientists who have recently stunned the world by announcing, following a lengthy (and probably costly – at least to the poor schmucks who are known as taxpayers) study , that people who eat chocolate get thin. It went on to qualify that they weren’t sure how much chocolate, and that people who ate hardly any were probably likely to be thinner. No shit, Sherlock! Perhaps these white-coated nitiwits could devote their time investigating something useful. Like self-immolation.
It is difficult giving a fuck about things. Personally, I like to get completely indignant when I’m watching TV and then forget all about it as soon as I turn the set off – it’s a tried and tested method. Sort of like ‘controlled caring’, you can feel like your giving a fuck without the worry that you might do something stupid like volunteering or giving your money away.