My word, it’s been a long week, with 6 days in a row of busy 12 hour shifts at work, and as such I haven’t found the time to complain about anything on here for a few days… But as luck would have it, I stumbled across something just about annoying enough to spark my antagonism once again!
Monthly Archives: April 2011
A Few Sights from the Day’s Travels #2
Well, I had a little wander into the great wide open today, expecting to stumble across the sort of daft and bizarre nonsense that one usually finds on any innocuous outing… And so, dear readers, I give you today’s wonders…
An Important Public Service Announcement
I just want to make one thing perfectly clear to everyone, because a lot of people seem to be unable to grasp this concept.
It’s called… An espresso.
It is not called… An expresso. Continue reading
The Service Station Graveyard
Right, so tonight, my girlfriend Rebecca and I were on our way back from Lancaster at about midnight, making the long drive home… When all of a sudden, hunger struck. Hard.
“Services: 2 Miles”
Fucking brilliant… And don’t think I didn’t see that Burger King sign. It is, of course, the worst of the fast food giants, but by god, were we too hungry to care. Continue reading
Life’s Greatest Mysteries: Revealed
I was sitting on a tram in Manchester tonight, when I noticed three signs across the side of the carriage. Continue reading
The Magic Smart-Ass Paper Dispensing Street Boxes
Just a short, petty mumble here, but today I realised how weird it is that so many northern English people call ATMs or Cashpoints, a “hole in the wall“.
Surely that’s a bit strange? Continue reading
The Biggest ‘Twin’ Disaster since The Towers
These days, there is so much bullshit about this apparent uprising in Libya and the silly little mishap in Japan, as well as all the dull nonsense about the crippled global economy… So it’s nice to know that some newspapers have the integrity to report on the stories that really matter. Continue reading
The Enemy of Endeavour
Ah, the iPhone…
The destroyer of creativity, slaughterer of proclivity , molester of activity. I used to do things. I played guitar, I played piano, I drew, I went for walks, etc. But now?
Angry Birds. Facebook checking. Twittering. Email checking. Facebook re-checking.
Conversations with Ian – A Compilation
First up, I have one sent it by Carles Nunns, where Ian met Carles’ friend Steve for the first time…
IAN: A’right, Steve. What do you do?
STEVE: I’m training to be an architect.
IAN: … … … Must be interesting digging up all those old bones.
Conversations with Ian – Headaches
FELIX: Who’s working tonight?
NADINE: I think it’s you, Ian and three of the part time girls. Or ‘headaches’, as Ian calls them.
FELIX: I think ‘headache’ is his word for all women.
IAN: Who says ‘at? Me?
NADINE: Headaches, yeah.
IAN: Only, righ’ [totally untranslatable northern mumblings] in afta’ that see is worse is gettin’ like kicked in the nuts.
NADINE: What!?
FELIX: What’s worse than getting kicked in the nuts?
IAN: Relationship. Worse ‘n gettin’ kicked in the nuts. Just an ‘ed-ache.
FELIX: Well… There are upsides…
IAN: What? Ge’ a shag once in a while?
FELIX: Is that a woman’s sole purpose?
IAN: *Shrugs*
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To probe deeper into the wondrous mind of Ian Jackson, click here for the full archive.
