Why I can’t look at The Sun

Okay, now I know it is a little bit easy to point out any grievances with The Sunnewspaper‘, being that the only genuine use for it is to blow in the wind during a ‘last man on Earth looking at the ruins of empty London’ movie moment, and I am also well aware that the virtually unarguable retort to someone complaining about The Sun is, ‘Well don’t read it then!’, which I don’t; but there is one slight problem that I vainly hope to be remedied. I have come to terms with it’s existence, made peace with the obvious fact that it wouldn’t be around if millions of people didn’t religiously read it, and I can even see the allure in seeing a topless girl smiling triumphantly upon a mountain of the blooded carcasses of what used to be puns. No, no… I will allow The Sun to stay on the shelves unopposed. It’s a fine (for some) institution and if it were to leave me alone, I would do the same.

However, I feel the need to simply ask that The Sun do Britain one favour (and no, I don’t mean immolating every facet of it’s existence), I just wish they would keep their front page, just that ONE, free from any racism founding, fear mongering, hatred-of-the-human-race inspiring dross, because when I’m loading up on goodies at the local Co-op, there it is, screaming at me with the voice of a million ignorant misogynists seconds away from being mauled by a giant, large breasted peadophile snowman… wearing a turban. Displayed front and centre at that bit of the shop where you have to queue up, it sits there, spouting it’s filth on the front page: filth so stupidly, bizarrely, hyperbolically, misspelled-edly aggravating, that as solid as a rock as my will-power may be, I cannot fight the bemused hypnosis of such vacuous drivel and I become transfixed in a land where I so question the plausibility of such ignorance, that I begin to wonder if I’m even awake.


I’ll stop rambling and just get to the inciting incident of this piece…

On the front page yesterday, I saw this main headline:

‘£50 fine for poppy burner? That IS an insult’.

Really? When will The Sun tire of scouring the murky ocean floor and drudging up any potentially anger inspiring, yet ultimately totally irrelevant, obscure and unimportant, detritus and then jizzing it in the faces of the impressionable populous who are low enough on the I.Q. scale to read this shit in the first place? Their thoughts were that fining £50 pounds to a muslim who burnt a poppy was a shamefully soft punishment. Which made me wonder: what exactly would they consider to be an apt punishment for such an offence? Would they prefer a poppy burner be shot? Or sent to prison? Or simply be treated like any other person who isn’t 100% British (which is everyone) and ‘sent back where he came from’? On another note, I would like to point out that I think someone may have emphasised the wrong word on the headline. They made the ‘is’ bigger, as opposed to the ‘an insult’, which makes it sound like it’s being compared to something that isn’t there.

Anyway, to the story in question: yes, it is a terrible thing to do, but I’m sure he had a reason, not that it was enclosed. Perhaps he was making a point of how we continue to honour the deceased of generations passed while turning a blind eye to the amount of deaths his people have seen in recent years from this ‘War on Terror'; or maybe he was angered by the doting idolatry of the very people that are now responsible for said deaths; or maybe he just accidentally dropped it in the fireplace while poking the coal and the Metropolitan police burst in and hauled him away. Who knows? They certainly didn’t waste time mentioning it in the article. My point being this: sure, tell him off, fine him if you think it’s appropriate, but this one tiny event somewhere in the country is really not the business of anyone else. This is the opinions and actions of one man, and now it has been used to further the negative stereotype of the other 1.4 billion muslims in the world. So to hell with the Sun for using the ignorant fear that it helped spread in this country to sell the kind of filth that people feel the need to read in order to validate the very same ignorant fear that this despicable nonsense instilled it in them in the first place.

But hey, if you like vicious, poisonous, slanderous, manure with your cereal in the morning, then I think I know just the paper for you… and while you’re at it; perhaps you can ‘Ask Deidre’ if she can look herself in the mirror anymore, or if she just glances at her presumably pre-WWII column snapshot and smiles safe in the erroneous knowledge that her Dorian Gray face probably doesn’t show the disfiguring signs of her profitable atrocities.

Oh, and one quick addition to this article. I just found this headline regarding the same story in the Daily Star, another piece of filth that rarely finds a story it feels strongly enough about to put on the front page, in lieu of the usual half-naked blonde. We’ll ignore the other unintelligible nonsense on this cover and cut to the lovely piece down the bottom. The giant, block capital typeface does nothing to draw too much attention to itself. Oh, and they have used poppies as bullet-points, well isn’t that clever? Also, I find it rather amusing how any drop-out who joins the army due to a lack of options or ideas will be forever branded a ‘hero’ by the tabloids in this country. ‘Come on, are you telling me that not even heroes can park on those damned double yellows!’

To this entire affair, I really only have one thing to say:


It is an outrage.